Wow, 5am is early....

It is, seriously. It's dark and quiet and early. Did I mention it's early? The reason I know that it's early is that I've been out of bed every day this week to exercise at 5am! Yay me! This past Saturday I took my oldest to a birthday party and met another mother who just happens to live 4 houses down from me and wants to run/walk in the morning! We've been meeting at 5:30 and doing the couch to 5k program together. She left to go out of town and I decided to keep up the early workouts and hit the gym. This morning I did 45 minutes on the elliptical!! I really am super proud of myself for doing it. Every morning I've had to talk myself into it, but I've done it and that's what matters! So far this week I've burned 1700 calories. Now, I have gained 1.5lbs this week, which I do not understand at all, but I'm not focused on that...

Eating has been ok, not fabulous, but not bad. Every day gets a little bit better and those small changes will add up, I know they will. Calories have been between 1800-2000. Like I said, not great, but not horribly awful either. I'm incorporating more vegetables and lean proteins in our diet. We've had a lot of stir fries without oil, shrimp, and fish. I keep picturing that movie, "What About Bob?" and telling myself "baby steps to good health." Cheesy, but you do what you have to, right?

So, my question for all of you who workout early is, how long did it take you to get in the habit of getting up early and when did your body adjust? This schedule is killing me and by 2pm every day all I want is a nap. The boss is not so big on this idea though....

Hope all is well! Healthy, happy choices everyone!

Chug chug chuggin' along

That's me, chugging along! Having good day, having bad days....I've been getting up in the morning to run, which is awesome. I find it goes by so much faster, i'm in a MUCH better mood for the rest of the day, and it lifts so much stress. I also love it that the neighborhood is dark and quiet and I can think. Yesterday I went 2.5 miles, which is great!

Food hasn't been as easy. Like I said, good days and bad. Earlier I wanted to find a post I did near the beginning of this journey and couldn't. I was reminded, though, of how I started this, where my I found success and and where I didn't. It was a quick overview, but I really think that it would be a good idea for me to revisit earlier posts, and try to find my mojo again. So, that's the weekend plan, find the mojo. Really, this IS 99.999999% mental, right?

Hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend! We have SO much planned. Yay!

Yummy Salmon Recipe

Confession: Cooking fish scares me. It just seems so delicate and so easy to over/undercook. I'm also not a fan of "fishy" fish. So, most of the time, my family just doesn't eat it. Well, in an effort to make another step in the healthy direction, I've vowed to cook more healthy fish recipes. I came across Gail Simmons' Honey Glazed Salmon recipe and decided to try it. I'm SO glad that I did!!! Even though salmon is one of those fish that I only like if prepared exactly right, I deecided to be brave. If you decide to try it, don't leave out the quick pickled cucumbers, they seriously make the dish. SOOOO yummy! Here's the recipe, enjoy:

PICKLED CUCUMBER:
1 hothouse English cucumber, sliced
1 cup rice wine vinegar (can also use white vinegar or red wine vinegar)
1/2 cup sugar
Pinch of kosher salt
1/2 medium red chili, thinly sliced into circles

FOR SALMON:
4 6-ounce salmon filets, boneless, skin on
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 teaspoons kosher salt
10-12 turns freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds
4 cups cooked brown rice
1 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup honey
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
1 clove of garlic, peeled and minced

FOR PICKLED CUCUMBER: Begin by making the pickled salad so it can sit while you prepare the salmon. In a mixing bowl combine rice wine vinegar, sugar and salt. Mix well then fold in sliced cucumber and sliced chili. Cover with plastic wrap and set aside in the fridge.

FOR SALMON: In a small saucepan add soy sauce, honey, ginger and garlic. Set over medium-high heat and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Set aside.
3. Take a large, oven-proof, non-stick sauté pan and set over high heat (use two pans if needed). Rub filets all over lightly with vegetable oil. Season both sides with salt and pepper. Once pan is very hot place the filets skin-side down and press down gently with a spatula so the skin remains flat to the pan. Cook for about 6 minutes then liberally glaze the top side of the filets - you want to have some glaze swirling in the bottom of the pan too as this will caramelize with the crispy skin. Turn off heat and flip salmon so skin side is now on top. Allow to rest in pan for 3 more minutes until cooked through.

Place salmon filets on top of a cup of brown rice, skin-side up. Drizzle a little more glaze from the pan on and around the plate. Top with a little pickled cucumber salad and sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds.

Gettin' Right

So, here I am yet again. For the past week or so, I've kept starting a post and then deleting it all, mostly because I don't know where to begin, so I suppose I'll just jump in the middle of things. Things are starting to get where they need to be eating wise. The last four days have been better (as opposed to good). I'm finding some really yummy healthy new recipes that I can't wait to share with you all! If there are any of you left! I want to get back into the blogging world again, I really miss it, and all of you!


My recovery from shoulder surgery has been a struggle, as I'm still in about the same amount of pain as before surgery. I've also developed some hip pain on the opposite side, I swear it feels like I'm falling apart! I'm too young for this. It's been a good kick in the butt for me, though, as I KNOW I wouldn't be in this much trouble if I'd lost the weight I need to lose. The good news is, I'm turning it into a motivation. I went running the other day for the first time in a LOONNNGG time. Now I've made it through the first week of the C25k program. It was rough and I've certainly lost all of the progress I'd made, but it really feels so good to be MOVING again. Of course, because of the hip I can barely move afterwards, but I'm taking baby steps. this morning I even got up at 5:30 to run, which is a HUGE thing for me. I can't deny that I feel so much better, so much HAPPIER when I'm exercising.

The thing that I know I need to work on the most is my mindset. I need to get right mentally and stop letting my weight and my disappointment in myself be the focus of my life. For awhile when I was on a roll last year, I was really in a good spot. The thing that changed it all? Going off of that water pill and seeing a gain on the scale. Even though I KNEW it wasn't a "gain" I let the scale dictate everything and lead to another weight loss downfall. So, this time, I'm going to focus a lot of energy on getting right not only with eating and exercising, but also with my outlook.

So, that's where I am! I hope all of you are experiencing great successes, with weight loss and otherwise!

Very quick check in

Yesterday was good! I ended with my calories around 1700, which is a little higher than I want to average, but MUCH better than the past few weeks. Yay! More to say, I'll post later!

Self Destruction

"When you have children, you lose the right to self destruct." -Oprah

That is EXACTLY what I've been doing, self destructing. The pressure around our house these last months has been immense between my shoulder surgery, DH's heart scare, and job issues. Instead of dealing with the stress in a healthy way, I ate. A lot. Of Everything. Unless it was green, or good for you, then I didn't. Ok, that's a little extreme. I did have some vegetables and fruit, but, mainly, I made some horrid food choices. I also failed to move my body in any meaningful way. The scale is reflecting it.

More important than the scale, though, is how it's affecting my life. I have no energy, I'm unhappy, I feel generally bad, my clothes don't fit, my skin feels icky. I feel icky. Lately, I've even found myself not wanting to play with the kids, just wanting to lay around. That's not acceptable. At all. I have no other choice but to start again. Make good food choices, MOVE, get in my water, get healthy. After all, it's only failure if I quit, right? I've lost the right to self destruct.

Exercise is a little trickier than normal, because, unfortunately, the shoulder is in the same shape that it was pre-surgery. But, I can walk. I'm going to get back to walk/jogging tonight and I have to promise myself and you guys, right here and now, that I will not let it get to me when it hits me how badly I've let myself go, when I can't walk as far or jog as long. One foot in front of the other, that's all it takes.

For my blogging buddies, I've been keeping up with you! I'm SO proud of all your successes!

Thank you.

Thank you, Jen, for checking on me. I'm here. I'm reading all your blogs and keeping up with everyone's great progress.

As for me, I'm in a dark place and I can't seem to find the way out. It's all so overwhelming. My shoulder does not appear to have been successful, my husband is having a heart related scare, and I cannot get my eating under control. I've resisted posting because I'm so sick of typing it and I'm sure you're sick of reading it.