Yoga?

So, I'm going to do it. I'm going to be brave and go to yoga tonight. For some reason, the thought terrifies me. Anyone into yoga? Tell me I won't look like a fool!

Thoughts and musings...

As it always is when I refocus on my weight loss efforts, this journey has been all consuming lately. Why is it that I can be chugging along doing quite well on the journey and then the bottom drops out from under me? This time, it dropped out for over six months, and I am working hard to get it back. Recently, I've become friends with a mother of one of my son's classmates at preschool. She's really fun to be around. She's also tiny and cute. On our first play date (er, I mean our boys' first play date) the kids played and we had coffee at her house. She told me that she was once over 200lbs. I was floored. She said she took it off over the course of 5 years by cutting one thing out at a time. That concept sounded painfully slow and impossible to me. The next time we hung out was at our monthly bunco game. It was one of the girls' birthdays and we had pie. Of course I ate a piece and then immediately commented that I would have to stay at the gym much longer after all those calories. My new friend looked at me and very seriously said, "You need to relax, go easy on yourself. Stop punishing yourself." Then she invited me to yoga. Right then at that moment a light came on. I do punish myself, daily. I punish myself for the way I look, what I eat, what I say, it's all about punishment. It shouldn't be. This whole journey is about getting healthier and should be a positive experience, because, after all, we're all working toward a positive, healthier place. So, this week, although with trying WW, I've been working on the mental part of this journey. I'm consciously working on NOT avoiding mirrors and talking ugly to myself, on loving myself and my body for what it is and what it can be one day. I'm coming to love my workouts and to appreciate what my body can do instead of dwelling on what it can't. As far as yoga is concerned, I really want to try it and have wanted to try it for awhile. I am going to wait, however, until next week when I see the shoulder doctor and make sure he'll clear it. The last thing I need is another injury. Happy thoughts!

Well....I did it.

I joined Weight Watchers. Ok, not really joined, but I'm taking advantage of the free week online to see if I like it any more than I did the last time I tried it. Although I've gotten into a serious exercising groove (1 hour on the elliptical 4-5 times per week), my eating has been out of control again. Geez, I really do feel like if I can ever get this food thing in line when the exercise thing is in line, i'll be unstoppable! I need to get it in line soon, because my fat pants are tight, NOT a good feeling. In other news, i'm STILL having shoulder pain. This HAS to stop, it's getting in the way of living, which is unacceptable. My followup #2 is next week, and I'm praying for an answer, or at least some action toward finding an answer. "Let's wait 6-8 weeks and see where you are then" is no longer an acceptable response. Hopefully I'll effectively advocate for myself at the appointment, I'm not usually very good at that.

Want to be on the blogroll?

Hey all! Another quick one, but, in an effort to jump back into this weight loss blogging thing feet first, I want to revamp the blog a little bit. I removed blogs from my blog roll that haven't had a post in awhile and, now it's looking pretty slim. So, two things. First, would those of you left that still read please let me know what YOUR favorite blogs are? I need some new reading material and inspiration! They don't have to be weight loss related! Also, if you want your blog to be on the blogroll, and it's not, let me know!

Happy Friday!

I forgive myself.

So, this one is quick, but I need to fess up that I did not go to the gym this morning. My body hurt, I was tired, and I had been up all night with a little guy that needed extra mommy snuggles. So...I didn't go, I allowed myself an extra hour and a half of sleep. But.....are you ready for some big news?? It's ok. I forgive myself this stumble. I refuse to dwell on it, punish myself, or harp on it.

This may not seem groundbreaking...but for me it is. I.FORGIVE.MYSELF.

I'm working on a post right now with some ideas that I really want to share with you, but i'm still marinating on them. More to come...

Wow, 5am is early....

It is, seriously. It's dark and quiet and early. Did I mention it's early? The reason I know that it's early is that I've been out of bed every day this week to exercise at 5am! Yay me! This past Saturday I took my oldest to a birthday party and met another mother who just happens to live 4 houses down from me and wants to run/walk in the morning! We've been meeting at 5:30 and doing the couch to 5k program together. She left to go out of town and I decided to keep up the early workouts and hit the gym. This morning I did 45 minutes on the elliptical!! I really am super proud of myself for doing it. Every morning I've had to talk myself into it, but I've done it and that's what matters! So far this week I've burned 1700 calories. Now, I have gained 1.5lbs this week, which I do not understand at all, but I'm not focused on that...

Eating has been ok, not fabulous, but not bad. Every day gets a little bit better and those small changes will add up, I know they will. Calories have been between 1800-2000. Like I said, not great, but not horribly awful either. I'm incorporating more vegetables and lean proteins in our diet. We've had a lot of stir fries without oil, shrimp, and fish. I keep picturing that movie, "What About Bob?" and telling myself "baby steps to good health." Cheesy, but you do what you have to, right?

So, my question for all of you who workout early is, how long did it take you to get in the habit of getting up early and when did your body adjust? This schedule is killing me and by 2pm every day all I want is a nap. The boss is not so big on this idea though....

Hope all is well! Healthy, happy choices everyone!

Chug chug chuggin' along

That's me, chugging along! Having good day, having bad days....I've been getting up in the morning to run, which is awesome. I find it goes by so much faster, i'm in a MUCH better mood for the rest of the day, and it lifts so much stress. I also love it that the neighborhood is dark and quiet and I can think. Yesterday I went 2.5 miles, which is great!

Food hasn't been as easy. Like I said, good days and bad. Earlier I wanted to find a post I did near the beginning of this journey and couldn't. I was reminded, though, of how I started this, where my I found success and and where I didn't. It was a quick overview, but I really think that it would be a good idea for me to revisit earlier posts, and try to find my mojo again. So, that's the weekend plan, find the mojo. Really, this IS 99.999999% mental, right?

Hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend! We have SO much planned. Yay!

Yummy Salmon Recipe

Confession: Cooking fish scares me. It just seems so delicate and so easy to over/undercook. I'm also not a fan of "fishy" fish. So, most of the time, my family just doesn't eat it. Well, in an effort to make another step in the healthy direction, I've vowed to cook more healthy fish recipes. I came across Gail Simmons' Honey Glazed Salmon recipe and decided to try it. I'm SO glad that I did!!! Even though salmon is one of those fish that I only like if prepared exactly right, I deecided to be brave. If you decide to try it, don't leave out the quick pickled cucumbers, they seriously make the dish. SOOOO yummy! Here's the recipe, enjoy:

PICKLED CUCUMBER:
1 hothouse English cucumber, sliced
1 cup rice wine vinegar (can also use white vinegar or red wine vinegar)
1/2 cup sugar
Pinch of kosher salt
1/2 medium red chili, thinly sliced into circles

FOR SALMON:
4 6-ounce salmon filets, boneless, skin on
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 teaspoons kosher salt
10-12 turns freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds
4 cups cooked brown rice
1 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup honey
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
1 clove of garlic, peeled and minced

FOR PICKLED CUCUMBER: Begin by making the pickled salad so it can sit while you prepare the salmon. In a mixing bowl combine rice wine vinegar, sugar and salt. Mix well then fold in sliced cucumber and sliced chili. Cover with plastic wrap and set aside in the fridge.

FOR SALMON: In a small saucepan add soy sauce, honey, ginger and garlic. Set over medium-high heat and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Set aside.
3. Take a large, oven-proof, non-stick sauté pan and set over high heat (use two pans if needed). Rub filets all over lightly with vegetable oil. Season both sides with salt and pepper. Once pan is very hot place the filets skin-side down and press down gently with a spatula so the skin remains flat to the pan. Cook for about 6 minutes then liberally glaze the top side of the filets - you want to have some glaze swirling in the bottom of the pan too as this will caramelize with the crispy skin. Turn off heat and flip salmon so skin side is now on top. Allow to rest in pan for 3 more minutes until cooked through.

Place salmon filets on top of a cup of brown rice, skin-side up. Drizzle a little more glaze from the pan on and around the plate. Top with a little pickled cucumber salad and sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds.