Thoughts and musings...

As it always is when I refocus on my weight loss efforts, this journey has been all consuming lately. Why is it that I can be chugging along doing quite well on the journey and then the bottom drops out from under me? This time, it dropped out for over six months, and I am working hard to get it back. Recently, I've become friends with a mother of one of my son's classmates at preschool. She's really fun to be around. She's also tiny and cute. On our first play date (er, I mean our boys' first play date) the kids played and we had coffee at her house. She told me that she was once over 200lbs. I was floored. She said she took it off over the course of 5 years by cutting one thing out at a time. That concept sounded painfully slow and impossible to me. The next time we hung out was at our monthly bunco game. It was one of the girls' birthdays and we had pie. Of course I ate a piece and then immediately commented that I would have to stay at the gym much longer after all those calories. My new friend looked at me and very seriously said, "You need to relax, go easy on yourself. Stop punishing yourself." Then she invited me to yoga. Right then at that moment a light came on. I do punish myself, daily. I punish myself for the way I look, what I eat, what I say, it's all about punishment. It shouldn't be. This whole journey is about getting healthier and should be a positive experience, because, after all, we're all working toward a positive, healthier place. So, this week, although with trying WW, I've been working on the mental part of this journey. I'm consciously working on NOT avoiding mirrors and talking ugly to myself, on loving myself and my body for what it is and what it can be one day. I'm coming to love my workouts and to appreciate what my body can do instead of dwelling on what it can't. As far as yoga is concerned, I really want to try it and have wanted to try it for awhile. I am going to wait, however, until next week when I see the shoulder doctor and make sure he'll clear it. The last thing I need is another injury. Happy thoughts!