Suprise...this post again.

The thing is, i'm struggling. Hard core struggling. This food addiction is consuming my life and I'm letting it. I've been working out like a crazy person, really enjoying the exercise and I DO see an improvement in my overall health. My BP is better. Food wise, though, I'm eating anything and everything and I'm out of control.

Daily I've wanted to post, to reach out and tell you all, those that are left, that i'm lost and i'm wandering, and I can't seem to find my way back to healthy eating. Intellectually, the answer is easy, less food more movement, good choices 85% of the time, and results will follow. If only it were that easy in practice.

Every day is a "new day." A "new start." Every day I think this is it, this is the day when I make better choices, when I stop eating junk, stop the emotional eating, stop the 3:30 trips to the M&M jar at work. These new starts are lucky to make it past lunch. The thing is, this healthy way of life, the weight loss process, is work and right now I feel so beat down, so deafeated, so helpless that I don't think I can do it. It's not laziness....like I said, I've been working out like crazy....I don't know what it is, but I have to find that motivation somewhere. I have to do this. It's getting scary. I want to enjoy my children, my friends, my clothes, my life. Instead I spend every waking moment thinking about how I hate the way I look and feel, punishing myself for my choices. It's a cycle that I can't seem to break. I'm tired.