Wednesday, August 18, 2010

In an out of control spiral

For the first time since I started this journey on February 2, 2009, I find myself in an out of control spiral, eating with reckless abandon. There is a vicious cycle that I've once again found myself in where I'm out of control, feel guilty, eat more, feel guilty, eat more, etc. I have to break the cycle again.

I really don't have much more to say than that, just wanted to be honest and get it out there.


  1. (((Hugs)) I have been right where you are. You get disgusted and want to just forget it...I mean, why bother, its obvious that you are going back to your old ways, just forget the whole thing.
    All I can say is ride it out...please...for you, and do it for me, too. I had to ride out a storm that began very much like you are talking about...mine started last October and just ended. I did gain some back, but unlike all of the other times, I didn't gain it all and was able to start again with the knowledge I have gained, which makes this start my strongest ever. It will pass...just hold on - I believe in you!!

  2. I too, have been where you are right now. In fact, I was there for about the past 6-9 months.
    My new mantra is "Begin Again." Whether it's each week, day, hour, or minute by minute. You can still begin again.
    Just one good day will give you a lot of confidence to get back on track. You can do it! I'll be thinking of you.

  3. Ugh! I hate when that happens!

    Please remember, that no matter what--as long as you keep getting up and trying again, you will eventually win. You will.

    You do not drown by falling in the water. You drown by laying down and staying in it after you slip in, instead of sitting up and getting out.

    Sit up. Get out. One little step at a time.

    Praying for you. Hugs.


  4. Well, blech. I wish I had some inspirational words for you, but I will keep checking in. I know this too shall pass :) Take care of yourself!

  5. I'm in the boat with you. I'm not sure where it came from, but we will get out of it.

  6. Aw, honey. Don't beat yourself up. The best part of this life we live is that every single day is the opportunity for a fresh start. I've only been on this new commitment to myself and my family for 36 days and haven't yet had to face where you are. But believe me, I've been there hundreds of times before. Just take a look at those beautiful children you have and remember that this journey you're on is as much a gift to them as it is to you. You are giving them the gift of a healthy mommy who will be there with them for a very long time. You can do this!! And when I stumble, I know that you'll be there telling me the same thing. Today, I'll be praying for your peace, strength, and resolve.

  7. I understand how you feel...totally. Please be easy on yourself. Shame and guilt go hand in hand when I'm in "that" place. Hang in there...