It's confession time here at PPP. There's something that I need to put out to the universe, it's not a big huge juicy secret, just something that has been bugging me. April was my 10 year college reunion. I attended the most wonderful college in the world. It's a small women's institution where I met some of the most wonderful people. Attending was the best decision I ever made, I think I grew more in those 4 years than I ever could have imagined. When I started I was a scared, completely introverted girl with little to no self esteem. I graduated a much stronger woman thanks to my friends and professors.
The reunion was something I'd been looking forward to for a really long time. I longed to see the girls from school and catch up. There were only around 65 people in my graduating class, so we were all very close and I couldn't wait to get together. There was so much planned, two parties, a class meeting, lots of gab time. I was even going to get to see a friend from high school that also went to the same college. She moved to Alaska and I hadn't seen her since college graduation.
Here's the thing. I didn't go. There were lots of reasons in my head for not attending. We were busy, I didn't want to be away from the kids, the housework needed to be done, etc, etc, etc. The real reason? Shame. My weight ballooned since college and I didn't want to face anyone. College was the one time that I actually lost quite a bit of weight. Well, since then I found it all, plus some.
Most of that weekend I moped around because I wasn't at the reunion and I'm still really upset that I didn't go. Nobody would have cared what I looked like, it would have been a wonderful weekend.
There's a lesson in all of this, it's that I can't wait until I'm at my "goal weight" (whatever THAT is) before I start living. So, it's out there now and I feel better for sharing it.