Green Mountain Coffee Wellness Collection!

Hi all!  As I've shared before, I'm a bzz agent, so I often get discounts on products or free samples in exchange for trying new products and sharing my thoughts.  If you are not a buzz agent, check them out.  It's an awesome program and gives you great opportunities to try new things!

Recently, I was asked to join the Green Mountain Wellness campaign, and I was pumped. I mean, free coffee, does it get much better than that?  My bzz kit arrived last week, and, I was excited.  Green Mountain Wellness Collection is available in K-cups for the keurig and comes in two blends:

Focus Blend^™ contains 50mg of L-Theanine per serving

Antioxidant Blend is a good source of antioxidant vitamins C and E

Fortified coffee, what a fabulous idea, right?  The coffee is medium roast.  I have to admit, I was a little bit skeptical......  You know that smell that hits you as soon as you walk into a vitamin or supplement store?  I was really afraid the coffee was going to taste like those stores smell.  But, I was SO wrong.  This coffee is great!  I prefer my coffee strong, really strong, so I brewed mine with less water than usual.  My first cup was the focus blend, which was good, slightly weak for me but still pretty tasty, and there was no hint of that vitamin taste.  The focus blend definitely got me through a tough afternoon of work.

This weekend, I tried the antioxidant blend, this one is my favorite!  It's a little stronger than the focus blend, but without being overpowering or bitter.  A bit of cream and a splenda made for a perfect cup of coffee.  I even ended up brewing another cup in the afternoon, which I rarely do on weekends.

All in all, the Wellness Collection makes for a great, healthy cup of coffee.    And, the even better news is that Green Mountain coffee is fair trade, which is important to me.  I'll definitely be adding it into my regular rotation of coffees, although I do prefer darker roasts.  It's available for purchase at GreenMountainCoffee.com/Wellness and Keurig.com.  If you want to try some, try this coupon code: GMCBEWELL for $3 off of any K-cup purchase.  Try it and enjoy!

Paleo Tamalie Pie....and 4 people noticed!

So, i'm chugging along with this Paleo(ish) diet. It's really not all that hard, which is awesome. I'm satisfied, eating less, and eating MUCH healthier. Now that i'm in the swing of things, though, I'm going to need to work in some more fish into my diet. For some reason cooking fish scares me, how dumb is that? I also may be the only person in the world that doesn't dig salmon or other "fishy" fish. Yesterday, after a horrible lunch that consisted of a charred burger patty without the bun and one slice of tomato (the waiter couldn't seem to remember to bring my fruit...like ever), I went home and made Paleo Tamale Pie from Paleo Table. Let me tell you, it was SO good. SO, SO, SO good. Slap your momma good. Even my non-Paleo(ish) husband loved it (but I did lay out some sour cream and cheese for him to doctor his up with!) If you are trying to eat Paleo, Paleo(ish), or just more whole foods in general, check out Paleo Table. She has some great recipes. Here's the tamale pie recipe:

Ingredients:
1 lb grass-fed ground beef
1 Tbsp coconut oil
1 small yellow onion, chopped
1 sweet pepper, cored and chopped (I used red, but any color will do)
1 2.25-oz can black olives
1 14.5-oz can diced tomatoes with green chiles
1 7-oz can green chiles
1 Tbsp coconut or apple cider vinegar (optional)

Spice Blend:
1 Tbsp chili powder
1 Tbsp ground cumin
1 Tbsp onion powder
2 tsp oregano
1 tsp paprika
1 cup warm water

Crust:
1 cup almond flour
1/2 cup water
1 egg

Preparation: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cook ground beef in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Drain fat, if necessary. (I find that grass-fed ground beef requires no draining.) Combine spices in a small bowl. Add water and whisk together. Add spice liquid to cooked ground beef. Stir to combine and simmer over medium low heat until most of the liquid has evaporated, about 10-15 minutes. While taco meat cooks, saute onion and peppers in coconut oil in a medium skillet until onion becomes translucent, 5-10 minutes. Add onion mixture, olives, tomatoes with their juices, chilies with their juices, and vinegar to the seasoned beef. Stir to combine. Simmer for 5 minutes. While meat simmers, combine egg, water, and almond flour in a small bowl. The mixture should be thick, like cornmeal. Transfer meat mixture to a deep-dish baker or a medium (8x8 or 9x9) baking dish. Scoop almond dough over the top. Bake for 10-20 minutes or until top is lightly browned. NOTE: Do not overfill the baking dish. If your dish is pretty full, set it on top of a baking sheet in the oven to catch any drips. Believe me, you will have a mess on your hands otherwise!

In other news, I ran this morning! Woot! Only 2.33 miles, and I only ACTUALLY ran a mile of it, but, baby steps, right?! But even more exciting?! No less than 4 people mentioned to me that I look like I've lost weight yesterday! It's so motivational, especially since I'm not weighing so I don't know how much/if i've really lost. But, my clothes are looser, my rings are looser, and people are talking. Yay! Keep on keepin' on.

Paleo(ish)

Hi all! Again, it's been too long since I've posted, what can I say? Life just gets in the way, I guess. Hopefully, now that I'm back on a more structured way of eating, I'll be more apt to post. For awhile there, my failure at this weight loss thing was getting me down and I didn't think I had anything worthy to say. :( But, an update! Two weeks ago, I started to follow a Paleo(ish) way of eating. Basically this means no sugar, grain, dairy, or legumes. I say paleo(ish) because you are really supposed to consume only grass-fed meats, but I cannot afford to feed my family only grassfed, so, I'm doing the best I can. What prompted this change was a lot of reading up on diets for people dealing with chronic pain. For over two years now I've been dealing with chronic shoulder pain. 16 doctors, 2 surgeries, and lots of tests later, I have no diagnosis and no indication of what to do to make it any better. After reading up on the subject, it appears that sugar, grain, and dairy cause inflammation in the body and reducing or eliminating them can cause a reduction in pain. Worth a shot, right?! Basically, I'm eating a lot of meats (mostly lean), vegetables, fruit, and nuts. Although the first few days were pure hell, it's gotten SO much better. I find that I am MUCH less hungry, I eat less, and I do feel a little better, energy wise. It's interesting to see how these changes are you going to work. HOPEFULLY, the pain will reduce, but, no such luck yet. It's still early. The amazing thing is how I have so few cravings. Before, I was always wanting chips or fries or a cupcake, and now, I just don't crave those things. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are days that I'd shank someone for a piece of chocolate, but, all in all, the cravings are gone. Love it! Have I lost weight? I don't know. I think so. I didn't weigh when I started, which I know sounds pretty odd. However, I will let myself be ruled by the scale, and I can't let that happen. So, I weighed at my last doctor's appointment, and I'll weigh at my next one, in December, until then, I'm going on how I feel...which is pretty darn good! My pants are looser and so is my ring, so that's a good sign. That's my update. Has anyone out there tried paleo? What did you think?

UNREAL Candy...the "unjunked" candy

Recently, through bzzagent.com, I had the opportunity to try the UNREAL candy.  It's candy that has been 'unjunked,' meaning it has no hydrogenated oils, corn syrup, artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives.  Being a bzz agent, I'm given products to try in exchange for me sharing my experience.  It's pretty cool, if you're not a bzz agent, check them out!

After a particularly tough transition during the first week of school, I wanted to get my boys a little treat.  That being said, I try not to give them too much "junk," so I thought this was the perfect opportunity to try the  UNREAL candy.  I picked up the candy coated chocolate pieces and surprised the boys at pick up.  They were so excited to try it!  My little guy pronounced them "more beautifuler" than their "junked" counterpart and my oldest said that they were really yummy and tasted "more like real chocolate."  Although they were reluctant to share, I got a few bites and they were tasty.  What surprised me the most was that we all ate less of them than we would of the 'junked' candy, and all felt satisfied and as if we had been treated to something special.

Obviously, even "unjunked" candy shouldn't be a daily part of a healthy diet, but occasional treats have a part in a healthy life style and the UNREAL candy is a way to indulge without so much guilt.  Give them a try!

Struggling.

What can I say?  I'm struggling.  Hard.  I'm completely out of control and I don't know what or how to get back into control.  I KNOW what to do to lose weight, it's the doing it that I can't seem to handle.  It sounds weak and sad to type, but it's the truth right now.

Write and Release

Drazil over at "It's just Me, Drazil, and Sheniqua" is one of my favorite bloggers.  She's probably one the of the bravest bloggers I read.  She faces her issues head on and she's kind enough to share her journey with us. She's really inspiring, if you don't read her, check her out!  Today she did a "write and release" post where she wrote her fears and anxieties as away to release them.  Seeing as I'm dealing with a mountain of fears and anxieties right now, I'm stealing her idea.....

The following things, in no particular order, are turning my world upside down.  I find myself constantly fighting back tears or the urge to scream and just rail on the world....so I'm writing and releasing instead.

My baby starts kindergarten in two weeks.  My baby.  I'm so nervous and anxious for him.  I hope he gets a good teacher, makes friends easily, and does not have a tough transition.  His older brother's change to K was less than ideal, and by that I mean that he cried every. single. morning. for 4 months.  I had to walk away every morning while he screamed for me.  Therefore, I cried every. single. morning. for 4 months.  Oh, how I wish I could put my kids in a bubble and protect them from the world.

My husband is going through a tough time at work.  He's frustrated and stressed and scared and I don't know one thing to do about it.  Every day he just looks more deflated and I can't stop it.  If I could, I'd put him in a bubble too.

This weight loss thing isn't going well.  It isn't going poorly, either, the problem is that it isn't going at all.  What if I am fat forever?  It is so frustrating to KNOW the answer.  Eat less, move more...it sounds so simple on paper, but I can't seem to put it into practice.

I'm so scared that the doctors will never figure out what's wrong with me.  What started with minor shoulder pain 2 years ago is now pain all over my body.  I feel like a crazy person.  Test after test shows nothing is wrong, but something IS wrong.  Two years and 16 doctors and all I know is that I hurt.  What if there isn't an answer?  What if it keeps getting worse?

Finances are tougher than usual.  We are blessed beyond belief because we just bought the house of our dreams, but now money is tight, at least for awhile.  Of course the pool pump shorted and my husband's car needs work, I need work clothes, it's back to school time, and our appliances are on their last legs...All of that added in with the fact that I do not handle money issues well, it makes me think of growing up and my parents fighting over money.  Just thinking about it makes my heart race.

My grandmother's death has done a number on  my family.  My grandfather is sad and lost and clinging to my mom and my mom is feeling smothered.  I have tremendous guilt about not being able to be with them more.  Some days it hits me so hard that she's really gone and I literally double over.  I miss her.

Work is not stellar.  I like my job and I love my friends here, but I feel like it's time to move on.  Waking up one day and realizing I never tried anything else would be a big mistake.  The problem is, my job now is very mommy friendly and I work in a field that is not at all mommy friendly.  Everyone that I know that has left here either came back, or desperately wants to.  I'd love to find a job that I adore, that challenges me in new ways, but that also allows me to go to the school play or on a field trip now and again.  I feel constantly torn between the professional me and the personal me.  Of course family wins, every time, it always will...but there has to be a better balance.


Phew... There they are, the major sources of stress.  Hopefully the write and release will help.

Friend Makin' Monday

It's that time again, for Friend Makin' Monday!! If any of you read Kenlie at www.alltheweigh.com, you know she's awesome and an inspiration. Every Monday she does FMM. Here's my version! If you feel so inclined, answer this weeks' questions and then link back up in the comments at Kenlie's blog!

 

 

Goals and More

1. Brag about some of your daily, healthy habits. Oh!   How sad is it that I haven't had many daily healthy habits?! Ugh!  I can say that my family and I swim almost every day after dinner, so daily activity is good!

2. Do you track your daily food intake? If so, how? I do.  I use MyFitnessPal.com, or the app on my phone. 

3. What do you want to change most about your daily routine?  I wish I could get into the habit of packing my lunch and healthy snacks every day.  Eating out less often for lunch and munching on an apple rather than hitting the vending machine would help tremendously.

4. How often do you exercise?  I walk with a friend 3 times a week and swim in the pool (not laps, more leisurely stuff) as often as the weather allows.

5. How do you stay on track when you’re on the go? Staying on track while i'm on the go is SO hard for me.  It's a constant battle. 

6. What’s one excuse you use that prevents you from reaching your goals? Time.  There just seems to be a huge lack of time.  I'm going from the time I get up to the time I go to sleep.  My exercise time is in the morning and getting up at 4:45a.m. when I went to bed at midnight is just tough.

7. What scares your most about your journey? That I'm going to fail.

8. What do you think will change most when you reach your goal? (If you have reached it, what’s different?)  I hope that I can learn to love myself, stop avoiding mirrors and stop missing out on life because of my weight.

9. What motivates you to reach your goals?  My children.  I want to be around to see them grow up and see their kids!

10. Share a few of your goals.

~I will track my food religiously.

~I will drop the splenda habit.

~ I will run the Disney Princess Half Marathon in 2013!!! Or at least FINISH it.

~I will increase the water and decrease the coke zero.

A quick favor

So, here's the deal....I haven't been a good blogger lately, but i'm working to get back at it!  A lot of my favorite bloggers have stopped blogging, and I'm super bummed.  Can any of you suggest some of your favorite blogs for weight loss, inspiration, family, health?  Also, i'm going to update my blog roll, anyone want to be on it?

Hope all is well with my blogging buddies.  I do have a weekend update post, hopefully tomorrow!

Friend Makin' Mondays!

It's that time again, for Friend Makin' Monday!!  If any of you read Kenlie at www.alltheweigh.com, you know she's awesome and an inspiration. Every Monday she does FMM. Here's my version! If you feel so inclined, answer this weeks' questions and then link back up in the comments at Kenlie's blog!

Friend Makin’ Mondays

1. What is your favorite way to spend a Sunday afternoon?  In the summer, definitely a family swim. I love seeing my family happy, healthy, and active.  My 5 year old's belly laugh at his daddy's water antics is music to my ears.
2. What is your favorite color?  Purple.
3. Have you ever been to Europe?  Yes, twice.  Once I toured Italy with my Latin class in high scool.  After graduation, my mom took me to visit her college roomate who taught for the Army.  We did 6 countries in 18 days and it was amazing. Life changing.  I'd really love to go back with my husband.
4. Do you wear glasses or contacts?  Contacts.
5. How often do you brush your teeth?  Morning and night.
6. Share a guilty pleasure.  Survivor, Oprah Radio, and naps.
7. What are you most proud of accomplishing this week?  Speaking up for myself!  It's something I never do, but am working on.  Twice this week I took a deep breath and said what I wanted.  The first time, I got it.  The second, a friend said I was being moody.

Invisible

So, other than my obvious food addiction, I have to confess another one....are you ready?  Oprah radio.  I know, I know....I just can't get enough of it!  I really love the insight I get into myself and others from her Soul Series.  Recently, Oprah said something that really hit me hard.  "The worst thing you can do to someone is make them invisible."  She talked about how, at the heart of things, we all want to be seen, really seen, and validated.  Isn't that so true?

The question that brought me to, though, is that, if the worst thing you can do to someone is make them invisible, then why do I try to do that to myself every day?  There are a multitude of ways that I try to make myself invisible.  Like, every day I wear black.  Seriously, every day.  Even in the summer, when, in the armpit of Florida, it's often over 100.  Black.  It's WAY out of my comfort zone when I wear red shoes.  Not to say I don't love color, I do, but wearing color equals getting noticed.  I'm quiet and never speak my mind.  I never say "no" when asked to do something and I always go along with what others want.  Although in my occupation people are usually loud and confrontational, I'm not at all.  In fact, I probably have the one attorney job where you don't have to argue or even see anyone for days.  Thinking about it now, I never realized how much effort I put into not being seen.  The extra fat is probably just another layer I put between me and the world.

Why do I do that?  I suppose that is the million dollar question that I'm going to have to answer.  Part of it, I'm sure, is that I grew up in a house where you didn't want to anger anyone, for fear of what might happen.  I did a lot of walking on eggshells, and I suppose, in a way, I still am.  As sad as it is, when I do put myself out there and show someone who I really am, it never fails that I'm surprised that they like me.  To this day I'm shocked that my husband loves me.

The other day, I had a massage appointment and my therapist asked me if the temperature was ok.  Of course I replied that it was fine.  He looked at me and said, "Don't bullshit me, you're shivering.  This is a no bullshit zone."  I was floored.  "It's ok." is my standard response to any question about how I am, what I need, etc.  He told me not to be afraid to ask for what I want and to learn to "let some life in."  So, as scary as it is, that's what I'm going to do.  Ask for what I want. Put myself out there.  Allow myself to be seen.  This is so scary. 

This post was so hard to write.

Friend Makin' Monday!

So, in an effort to blog more about this journey and life itself, I'm going to take part in Friend Makin' Monday!! If any of you read Kenlie at www.alltheweigh.com, you know she's awesome and an inspiration. Every Monday she does FMM. Here's my version! If you feel so inclined, answer this weeks' questions and then link back up in the comments at Kenlie's blog!

Finish the Sentence I like…naps, snuggles, good books, and date nights with my husband.

I don’t like…negative people.

I am..in love with my best friend.

I love…my family, they are my biggest blessing.

I dream of…running the princess half marathon and KNOW that I will sob at the end out of pure joy.

I wonder…what the future holds.

I know…that life is beautiful and hard.

I went…to Wesleyan College, and it was one of the best decisions of my life.

I have...what it takes.

I think…that I am going to have to face some serious demons if I want to reach my goal weight.

I plan…to learn more about me.

I regret…how I've punished my body and used food as a drug.

I do…the best I can.

I drink…too much tea with splenda...but I am learning to like Dr. Oz's green tea weight loss drink.

I wish…for more time to do the things I love with the people that I love.

I am…worth it.

I am not…going to quit.

I need…to put myself first sometimes.

I hope…that I can keep growing and learning.

I want…to do things that scare me.

I sometimes…cry.

I always…try to be kind. I hope that when I am gone people will say, "The only hurt she caused was when she left us."

I can…do more than I think I can.

I cannot…even imagine all of life's possibilities.

I will…win.

2.5 pounds down!

Although I swore off the scale, I hopped on on Sunday to see what my first week "back" looked like. It looked like 2.5 pounds lost! Yay!! I even got up at 6:45...on a Sunday...when I could have been sleeping for a 3.5 mile walk! Yay me! Then, later, we all hopped in the pool for even more activity. At the end of the day, I was wiped, but a good wiped, you know? One thing I'm really struggling with is my addiction to diet unsweet tea from publix. That stuff is so good. And, although it's calorie free, it has a lot of splenda, I'm sure. I really need to break the tea cycle and get in more water, or at least less chemicals. I did try Dr. Oz's miracle weight loss drink, which is green tea with mint and tangerine. I really like it! Maybe this can be my diet sweet tea substitute? You think? The other thing i'm having issues with is lunch. I tend to eat out every day (SO BAD). What do you take for healthy lunch on the go? Keep making good choices!

My Goodness

Oh my, SO much has happened since my last post. It's crazy how fast life speeds by. Our biggest event? We moved! My family and I bought a new house and moved about a month ago, and it's been hectic, stressful, fast-paced, and fabulous. The best part? We have a pool now! I'm loving that every day after work/school/camp, the family eats dinner and then heads outside. Our evenings are spent together and ACTIVE, which is a far cry from the way it was before. It makes my heart happy (in more ways than one, I'm sure!) Weight loss has not happened lately. The good news? I maintained. The bad news? I didn't make myself a priority and i'm no closer to goal than I was last year. Yesterday, though, I logged back on to My Fitness Pal (Clee0805 if any of you are on there and want to buddy up!) and started logging calories. Yesterday was great, my cals came in at 1390. Today is looking to come in around 1399, so yay! As some of you know, i've been struggling with chronic shoulder pain for two years now. I've been to, literally, 16 different doctors searching for an answer. I even had two surgies. No relief. Lately, I've been seeing a massage therapist for the pain and he and I have gotten close. At our last appointment, he told me that i'm so wound up and anxious, that he feels like much of my pain comes from emotional stress. We also talked about weight and how that was also part of my problem. He told me that dealing with the emotional reason behind the weight was the first and most important step. Right then and there I burst into tears. He's right. I KNOW he's right. I just don't know how to do it. I feel very trapped. Any sage advice out there? In other news, my baby goes to kindergarten next month. Kindergarten!!! How did that happen?! It seems like it was just yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital, just under 6lbs of sweet baby squishiness. Now he's such a big boy. I'm so proud of him and the little man he has become, but part of me is so sad that we are out of the baby phase. I rarely get cuddles anymore :( So, that's my update!!

I've said it before, I'll say it again...

This is TOUGH. Somewhere along the line I lost my mojo and I cannot have yet to get it back. The last year and a half has been tough. There's been chronic shouulder pain with an undiagnosable cause, the death of my grandmother who I loved SO much, and various other work and home stresses. Instead of using taking care of myself as a de-stressor, I've let healthy living and eating become a source of stress. WHY? Do I do this? I FEEl better when I exercise. I'm happier when I exercise. I can handle things better when I exercise. Eating right does the same thing, yet I have been consistently choosing crap. Using food as a band-aid to cover up the hurt, stress, and fatigue is no longer an option. The good news? Today and yesterday I've been eating on plan and come in under my calorie "budget." I've also been walking in the mornings before work with a friend. On one hand, it's moving, on another, I know we're not working hard enough to make any real fitness advancements. We've decided to start the couch to 5k program together. Maybe that will help. So, i've said it before, I'll say it again. It's time to fake it until I make it! Baby steps!

Filipo Berio Olive Oil-Bzz Campaign and a Yummy Recipe

Hi all!  I have lots to say in another post about the way things are going, so look for that soon, but for THIS post, I wanted to tell you about Filipo Berio Olive Oil.  I'm a Bzz Agent through www.bzzagent.com, where I'm provided free samples of different things in exchange for sharing my feedback on the items.  I'm participating in the olive oil campaign, and I love it.  The oil is rich and yummy and is proving to be a great substitute for butter.  In my efforts to eat healthier, I'm trying to sub it in for butter in most recipes.  I'm also trying to move toward a more heart healthy "Mediterranean diet" with fruits, leafy greens, legumes, fish, and olive oil!  If any of you are looking for a good olive oil, give Filipo Berio a try :)

Now, here is one of my FAVORITE olive oil recipes.  This stuff is super yummy, my husband requests it for dinner weekly and it's hearty enough to be a light entree.  Here's one of my favorite recipes lately, Ina Garten's Green Panzanella.  It's awesome stuff, I promise!  I do not use all of the dressing on mine, but you certainly could.  I also use a sourdough loaf of bread, or whole grain if i'm being super good, but I do find that the whole grain is a little too sweet for this recipe.  This is a super recipe to take to potlucks, I just take the bread and dressing separately and mix before serving.  If only I remembered to take a picture of the final product!

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons good olive oil
• 1 small French bread or boule, cut into 1-inch cubes (6 cups)
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 2 large, ripe tomatoes, cut into 1-inch cubes
• 1 hothouse cucumber, unpeeled, seeded, and sliced 1/2-inch thick
• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and cut into 1-inch cubes
• 1 yellow bell pepper, seeded and cut into 1-inch cubes
• 1/2 red onion, cut in 1/2 and thinly sliced
• 20 large basil leaves, coarsely chopped
• 3 tablespoons capers, drained

For the vinaigrette:

• 1 teaspoon finely minced garlic
• 1/2 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• 3 tablespoons Champagne vinegar
• 1/2 cup good olive oil
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Directions

Heat the oil in a large saute pan. Add the bread and salt; cook over low to medium heat, tossing frequently, for 10 minutes, or until nicely browned. Add more oil as needed.

For the vinaigrette, whisk all the ingredients together.
In a large bowl, mix the tomatoes, cucumber, red pepper, yellow pepper, red onion, basil, and capers. Add the bread cubes and toss with the vinaigrette. Season liberally with salt and pepper. Serve, or allow the salad to sit for about half an hour for the flavors to blend.

Baby steps....and faking it.

HA!  Bet I surprised you, right?  I bet you thought it would be months before my next post.  Not so! I like to keep you on your toes.  If there are any of you left....:)

Things are cruising right along.  I'm well into the habit of walking 2 miles in the mornings at least 3 days a week.  The eating is going ok so far.  I'm using myfitnesspal and logging what I eat.  THIS week the goal is just to log everything, next week we'll move to staying under the calorie goal (although, so far i've stayed under it).  Next week, when the hubster is back to being free in the mornings, i'm going to try to hit the gym on the days that I don't walk.  Like I said, baby steps.

I'm having a hard time finding my mojo, though.  I wish I could figure out how I do SO well for awhile and then it just stops.  It's like the motivation is gone.  I know one of my biggest problems is not putting myself high on the list of priorities...or, honestly, often not even ON the list at all.  It's so hard not to put my kids, husband, work, family, etc. higher. It's hard not to feel guilty when I take time for me.  Although, I KNOW that when I take time for myself I come back to the family/work/etc with more energy and more to give, my heart doesn't know that.  There is so much pressure to be perfect, it gets to me sometimes.  I hate the feeling of letting anyone down, so I don't....but, really the person I'm letting down is me.  It shouldn't be so hard to let yourself down...right?

So, right now the plan is to fake it.  Fake it until I make it.  Baby steps, one foot in front of the other, one meal or one bite at a time.  I can do it. I have to do it.

Giveaway!

Just letting you all know that there's a great giveaway going on over at Weight Watcher Wannabe's blog.  She's great and SUCH an inspiration to me!    She's giving away a copy of "Eat More of What You Love."  It sounds like a great book!

To enter, go to:  http://weightwatcherwannabe.blogspot.com/2012/04/book-giveaway-eat-more-of-what-you-love.html

Hiya! and a cool new weight loss app

Hi all!  Long time no see, right?  SO much has happened in my life and I really let weight loss/getting healthy fall off my radar.  I'm back though!  (How many times have you heard THAT?!  I'm for real this time, though!)  While eating hasn't been great, I've been walking 2.25 miles 3-4 times a week, and I even did a 5k. Yay!  As always, although I wasn't really posting, because I didn't feel like I had anything to say, I've been keeping up with my blogging buddies and I'm so proud of all of your accomplishments.  You are all so amazing and such an inspiration.

I did want to share with you all that there is a great new calorie counting website out there, but it's so much more than a calorie counter.  It actually makes weight loss a game.  You earn points for logging food, exercising, making good food choices, and competing in challenges!  It's really quite a cool concept.  There are even giveaways for certain challenges.  If anyone wants to check it out, the site is www.slimkicker.com.  There's an app for smartphones too.  It's really great!  If you join, please friend me!  I'm Clee0805 on the site.

Can't wait to get back to the world of healthy living!

My ten truths

As I prepare to jump back into this journey that I both want and need to travel, I'm starting to make a list of the things I know to be true. Here are my ten truths:

1. I'm fat. I'm fat because I have spent years eating too much and moving too little.

2. The number on the scale does not reflect who I am as a person. The number means I'm overweight, it does not mean I'm less deserving of love, have less worth, or deserve less happiness. "Fat" is by far not the worst thing a person can be.

3. I am worth it. I'm worth the effort and the time it will take to get healthy.

4. This journey to better health will take time.

5. It's time to prioritize and putting myself first sometimes is ok. It's ok to say no to people.

6. I'm a food addict and an emotional eater. It will take as much "mental" work as it will physical work to find true success.

7. Food is not my friend, it's not a place of comfort, it doesn't make things better or worse. Food is fuel. It is time to start viewing it that way, as neither"good" or "bad."

8. As much as my getting healthy will help my kids, my husband, my friends, this journey is for me.

9. There will be potholes. There will be mistakes. That's ok. I'm not perfect, nobody is.

10. It's time.

2012

Happy New Year! My goodness it's been so long since I've posted and I have SO much to update everyone on. Like many people, the new year is representing a new start for me. I promise a full post very soon. For now, I have many errands to run, groceries to buy and gifts to return. I hope all is well with all of you.